I always knew I had a severe lack of confidence since being a child.  I admired others who seemed to be so sure of themselves and who never seemed to doubt that they were good enough.  When I look back to special events from childhood through to adulthood, I can recall each memory and remember the noise in my head and the feelings that accompanied the events. 

The thing is I was a coper.  I could cope with the worry, the endless ‘what ifs’ that swirled around my head when approaching these events and I just got on and did them.  For example, I used to swim in competitions, and I can remember my coach saying he had never seen anyone shake so much on the starting blocks.  I had trained so hard, and instead of focusing my energy on giving the race all I had, my mind was focused on all the things that could go wrong.  I can remember going to a new college for the first time and fading in the background as I would tell myself that people wouldn’t be interested in speaking to me.  I realise looking back, how many opportunities I didn’t see because I was focused on the wrong things.  When I would interview for jobs that I really wanted and have the most horrendous internal turmoil leading up to, during and after the interview.   I could go on and on.  What I realised was it wasn’t just the big events in my life, it was how I perceived even the tiny things.

I thought this was my way of living and whilst, I wasn’t unhappy, it was exhausting.  It was only until I experienced NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) that I realised, life didn’t have to be like this.   All the techniques I learnt during my training, I got to experience.  I was astounded at the time, how differently it made me feel.  Gone is the noise in my head that tells me all the scenarios that could go wrong, makes me question whether I am good enough or tells me to pay attention on what people might think of me, even people I don’t know.  Now I focus on how I want to turn up, how I want to feel and the outcomes I want to achieve.  I realise I have a choice and I am absolutely good enough.   I am still me.  I still want to help people, I still care about people and I still want to learn.  I am confident enough to know that sometimes I may not get things right but that does not mean that I have failed.  It means there is feedback in how I can turn up even better next time. 

One of the amazing differences for me is the calmness I feel inside.  I always knew stress could be damaging to my health but as I coped with stress as part of my day to day life, I ignored the impact it was having on my body.  Now, the feeling of calm I wake up with, that I feel during the day and before I go to sleep, is such a wonderful gift.  The fuzzy feeling in my chest has gone, the pain at the top of my back, the tension in my stomach and impact on my weight has totally changed.

I don’t believe in living with regret, so I don’t wish to change anything from the past, but I do choose to learn from it.  So, yes, whilst I could cope before NLP and still get results, I no longer feel the weight of the world on my shoulders in every tiny thing I do.  I am calm and I am confident, and I love it.

If you want to find out more about how NLP coaching with me can change how you turn up each day, please get in touch – 02921 690140 or louisa@incredible-you.co.uk.

Photo by Katrina Wright on Unsplash