Forgiveness is not easy.  It will come with practice and some cool tips.  If you’re ready to let go and move on from blame to freedom, there are tips that will make the journey easier.  Being able to share the impact that the situation has had on you and ask questions that bring closure and clarity is very healing.  Finally, finding compassion for others – through realising your own mistakes – will humble you and make offering forgiveness easier than you may think.

Tip #1. Share the impact.

A key component for forgiveness is sharing the impact that the situation has had on you.  Holding the painful feelings you have inside for too long isn’t healing.  Sharing the truth about how the situation impacts you is key to letting go and being able to move on.  You have the right to share how you feel and do so with kindness ensuring your language that isn’t cruel or shaming. 

Being able to state your feelings in a kind way will go miles towards restoration and offering grace in a difficult time. Sometimes hearing the impact that actions have had while withholding blame and judgement can allow for someone to truly change from the inside out. How beautiful is that?

Tip #2. Ask questions

After you share your thoughts and forgiveness is on the table, ask any questions that come to mind. Sometimes being able to clarify matters can add to the healing. Many a misunderstanding has been resolved when details are shared.  Sometimes relationships can grow deeper and more connected after conversations explore deeper into what happened, and forgiveness comes.

 

Tip #3. Find compassion

Compassion is the common ground that allows forgiveness to grow in difficult soil.  One of the easiest ways to find compassion is to think of a time when you needed forgiveness as well.  Recalling times when we messed up can make offering forgiveness easier.  Depending on how deep the cut, leaning on our own mistakes can make offering forgiveness easier.

 

If forgiving and forgetting is new to you, then you will benefit from these practical tips to effectively offer forgiveness, but what happens when you can’t get the resolutions suggested in these tips?  Maybe the person isn’t around anymore and you can’t share the impact or ask questions. Maybe the relationship isn’t healthy enough or safe enough for you to have a conversation. You can still go through the motions. Try meeting with a professional or trusted friend and role play the situation.

 

Offering forgiveness may be new for you, but it is possible – even in the worst of situations. These helpful tips will make it easier to start the process and get the closure you deserve.

 

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you”.  – Lewis B. Smedes

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